CHEATS

In one of our first posts on the ORCFEST 3 Blog, we went over some cheats in order to help you get more involved with the game and to give the "Noobs" a leg up on the competition.  Let's face it, some of these Level 70 guys will pull your head off and sh*t down the hole, with all the magic stuff they've been collecting for the past few years.

If the Glimmer Balls are giving you trouble, go to the bottom of the screen and click on the "Search for Party" icon and look for a group of similar level characters to help you.  If this doesn't work, go to the bottom of your screen, and on the lower left, hit "Start" and then "Shutdown".

If you are of the Hunter class, make sure you train a good animal companion.  The platypus, emu or gerbil are excellent choices.

Watch frequently for Dragon "Doody", if you see a huge shadow getting larger and larger over your character.

Remember, war is not the answer, unless you're an orc, then kick some serious elf butt!

Make sure you feed your dead party members to the Arch-Demon on Level 29's 3rd dungeon.

100 copper= 1 silver

100 silver= 1 gold

100 gold= 1 platinum

100 platinum= 1 diamond

100 diamond= one ounce of whale pheromone on the black market

The skeletons roaming the Stormbleach Keep can only be defeated by re-enacting that scene from "Jason and the Argonauts".

MANA is not used as a measure of magical power in this game.  We use the term, GLITTER.

Devour the pancreas of the Voldrani Bungbeasts in order to heal quickly after a battle.

There's various running styles for your character as you cavort through the realms:  Wedgie, Wet underwear, corn cob up the A$$, and I think I just crapped myself.

Remember to hesitate before you're about to cast the ring into the volcanic fire.

That Jason Statham fantasy movie (based on a piece of crap game) was a piece of crap.  The orc copies in that piece of crap,  looked like crap.

As you make decisions in the game, there are little game pixies who actually roll the dice for the events unfolding on the screen.  Feed them a cookie now and then.

When creating a character, make it one of the opposite sex, so you can feel what it's really like to be that.

In Golimsbad, be sure to visit Farnsworth the Freak, and get his herbal remedy at the dispensary, since they passed that law a few years back.

The buzzing noise you hear frequently in Gornfang Forest is not a bug in the programming, but huge swarms of bees lurking just offscreen, which you can't kill, disperse or interact with at all.

All guards are A-holes!  Kill them without mercy.

When pickpocketing as a thief, make sure you're sulking.

Sorry, that didn't make any sense, I meant skulking.

Oops!  I meant, make sure you're a Skull-King, that's a level 25 thief of the guild.

When going on a "Ravage" with other players make sure you leave no huts unburned.

At random, the spoken "Shakespearean" dialect of the elves will be put into the orc character's lines in the game, and at the speed of "Alvin and the Chipmunks".

When fighting the "Spectral" undead, make sure you use EVP and your thermal camera.  Go over your findings with your host at the end of the show.

Arrows flying into your character don't neccessarily mean the person firing them is your enemy.  Check your Charisma level.

Breathing underwater causes instant death.  Holding your breath underwater causes a little bar graph to appear above your character.

They had explosives in that LOTR movie? What the sh^t is that?!

An evil alignment usually means that your tires are wearing more on one side than the other.

Remember to look for the Dragon's weakness.  It's usually chocodiles.

The endless trees in the game are all individually crafted by the greatest of computer programmers.  The stupid names of the places and creatures in the game are all individually thought up by stoner dropouts.

The endless barrel smashing, while looking for treasure, can get a little tedious.  Pretend you're Elliot Ness and you're giving it to those bootleggers!

Thanks for reading our latest Cheat entry. I hope this gets you to Level 50 quicker than that pederast ELFSPLITER666, that guy has been a bug up my a$$ since we started this game.  Every time I try to get into the Dungeon of  Ill Repute he's always there to snub me and kill my 25th level Orc Shaman, so I have to start over again at my save point.

"If you cheat, the world dies a little bit around you" - Philosophical B.S. from Borador the Fallen